The comments are based on Loh Wei Kiat’s blog post:
What do you consider to be the most important social problem in the world today?
I feel that the essay is very informal and may not be applicable for examinations or tests. The essay is very much “question-based”, he keeps asking questions in the essay. The main purpose of an expository essay is not to ask the readers questions and evoke the feelings and opinions of them. Instead, it is to inform and persuade them on your point of view by giving them information and evidence. I feel that the content could have been further improved. For example, you mentioned prejudice, instead of comparing how it is related to greed, you should have given me reasons why it is the most important social problem today.
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